


When You Lose Something You Can’t Replace

by Sxymami0909, xtremeroswellian



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Birthday, Cuddling & Snuggling, Everything Hurts, F/M, Friendship/Love, Gen, Lydia Feels, Lydia and Malia do not get along, Mentions of Allison Argent - Freeform, Pack Feels, Sad Lydia, Sad Scott, Sad Stiles, Sassy Lydia, Scott Feels, Scott and Stiles are Brothers, Scott is a Good Friend, Sleepy Cuddles, Stiles Feels, Worried Scott, Worried Stiles, worried lydia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-14
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-13 04:21:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2136843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sxymami0909/pseuds/Sxymami0909, https://archiveofourown.org/users/xtremeroswellian/pseuds/xtremeroswellian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s Allison’s birthday, the first since her death and Lydia and Scott aren’t handling things well. Stiles notices them struggling and decides it’s time to step in and show his friends that even though the pack is growing, the three of them will always have a special bond, with each other and Allison. And nothing can change that even though sometimes it doesn’t always seem that way. (Title from ‘Fix You’ by Coldplay)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Request: from arrowsandwolves on Tumblr - Fic prompt: I’m pretty sure season one was in January/February, which would make Allison’s birthday in February so her bday should be coming up. How about a story where Stiles knows how hard that day will be for Scott and Lydia and so he tries to cheer them up. There have been fics of Stiles realizes that Lydia is hurting and needs him after Lydia or Scott tells him, but I would like to see him just knowing they need him and so he is there for them like the good friend he usually is.

Lydia tugged open her locker and slipped her AP Biology books inside before reaching next to them and grabbing the two smaller books beside them. She pulled her arm out of the locker and slid the books into her bag with a sigh. Lydia was having a bad day. Her morning had been one annoyance after another and honestly while she typically loved school, she just really wanted the day to end.   
  
She pushed the locked closed and rested her hand against the cool metal surface, closing her eyes briefly. Tomorrow was Allison’s birthday and Lydia was pretty sure her short fuse had a lot to do with that and a lack of sleep the past few nights. She took a deep breath; let it out slowly shaking the thoughts away. Lydia turned abruptly about to head towards the lunch tables outside when she collided with a solid body knocking her off balance. “Ow.”   
  
“Sorry.” Scott quickly reached out and settled his hands on her shoulders to steady her before she got anymore off balance. “Sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going,” he admitted, face drawn and expression tired. “You okay?”   
  
Lydia’s expression softened when she saw that it Scott. “It’s fine,” she said as she studied his face. “I’m alright,” she paused lifting her hand and resting it on his arm that was still on her shoulder, “How are _you_?”   
  
He nodded, giving her shoulder a brief, affectionate squeeze as their eyes met. He was silent for a moment, not entirely sure how to answer that question. He dropped his gaze. “Been better,” Scott admitted.   
  
Lydia’s chest tightened at his words and she nodded. “Yeah, I can understand that.” she replied softly as she shifted back slightly so he’d drop his hands. Seconds later she looped an arm through his, “Walk with me?” She asked as she sent him a sideways glance.   
  
“Yeah.” He nodded, offering her a small smile as he guided her down the hallway and toward the outdoor benches. He wasn’t even a little bit hungry, really, but the day was only half over for school and he had a shift at the clinic after. If he was going to get through the rest of the day he needed to eat something. And he needed to make sure she ate something, too.   
  
Lydia was silent as they walked her other hand gripping the strap of her bag tightly. “I was thinking,” she hesitated, “There’s been a lot going on lately, but maybe if you’re not busy you’d like to come over tomorrow.” She said the words quietly avoiding his gaze. Scott knew what tomorrow was. And she knew the day was going to be hard for them both and while she’d been good about keeping to herself lately, it would be nice not to be alone tomorrow for both of them.   
  
“I’m not busy,” he said immediately, glancing at her sideways. Truthfully he was hoping that someone would give him a way to occupy his mind tomorrow because he didn’t know what he was going to do to deal with it.   
  
Lydia smiled trying to keep the relief off her face, “Good,” she tightened her grip on his arm as they made their way towards the doors that led outside, “My mom is out of town, but she’ll be back at the end of the week,” she added knowing they worried when she was out of town, “She’s going to be subbing here for a little bit actually next week, but the house is empty and could use some liveliness.” She explained. Plus she didn’t want Scott to be alone because even though they were all good at hiding the pain they felt on a regular basis, some days were harder than others and tomorrow was going to be one of those days.   
  
“Oh. You know, you’re always welcome to stay with me and Mom, right?” he asked, glancing at her with worried eyes. He wondered if Lydia’s mother would even remember what tomorrow was. Somehow he kind of doubted it.   
  
Lydia nodded, “I know,” she told him as they moved outside, a light breeze blowing her hair away from her face, “But you also know I don’t like imposing. She’s been gone for a bit,” she said with a shrug, “It’s not unusual though and at least subbing here for a little bit will keep her in town for a while at least.” She said trying not to sound bitter about it. Typically she let the fact that her mom was never around brush off her shoulders, but lately it had been getting on her nerves more and more especially since Allison.   
  
Scott glanced at her again, expression growing troubled. He knew that she didn’t want to impose. His mom worked a lot of night shifts, especially the last few months because so much of the hospital staff had been wiped out by the Nogitsune and the Oni. So much destruction had happened at the hospital that the place was struggling to stay open. Most of the workers who were left had taken a pay cut. Money was becoming a serious issue. But at least his mom had good reasons to be gone -- she _had_ to be. That was not the case with Lydia’s mother. “Yeah.”   
  
Lydia glanced at him as they made their way towards the lunch table, “I appreciate the concern though,” she told him softly, her tone genuine. “Tomorrow will give us some time to catch up,” she offered. It felt like she hadn’t talked to Scott in a while with everything that had been going on. They were both busy and even when they did see each other it wasn’t like they had time to talk about regular everyday things.   
  
“That’ll be good,” Scott said quietly as they headed toward the table where Kira was already sitting with Stiles and Malia. He drew in a breath and let it out slowly, giving her arm a gentle squeeze before the two of them pulled apart to sit down.   
  
Kira glanced up from her lunch and smiled when Scott sat beside her, “Hey,” she said her tone light. She’d been wondering where he was. Usually he came to lunch with Stiles and she’d been mildly worried when he hadn’t.   
  
Scott smiled at Kira as he dropped his backpack on the ground, tugging the paper bag from the open front flap. “Hey,” he said softly leaning in and pressing a light kiss to her cheek.   
  
Lydia dropped down on the bench on the other side of Scott and pulled her lunch, an apple and a bottle of water, out of her purse as Kira spoke.   
  
Stiles looked up when Scott took a seat beside Kira and Lydia sat on the other side of them. “Hey,” he greeted, gaze traveling to the apple Lydia pulled out of her purse. He tried not to frown because it wasn’t like Lydia _ever_ ate very much for lunch, but this was even less than usual. He nudged a bag of peanut butter crackers over toward her nonchalantly.   
  
Scott glanced up and nodded, “Hey guys,” he smiled at Stiles and Malia, though the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.   
  
Lydia glanced at the crackers before her gaze drifted to Stiles. “Not really in the mood for peanut butter,” she commented, “But thanks,” she replied with a grateful smile.   
  
Malia chewed on the bite of pizza she was eating as she glanced between Scott and Lydia. “What’s the matter?” She asked before taking another bite.   
  
“Just having a bad day,” Scott assured her, looking down at his sandwich and taking a bite.   
  
When he didn’t meet Stiles’ eyes or even really look at him, Stiles knew it was more than a bad day. His gaze shifted from his best friend to Lydia, and he swallowed hard, looking down as it dawned on him what was wrong. He suddenly wasn’t very hungry either.   
  
“Why? Did you have to go up to the blackboard to do math?” Malia asked, frowning.   
  
Scott glanced up and couldn’t help the slight chuckle that left his throat. He wasn’t laughing at her, but the way she understood things was sometimes humorous and to be expected. She was adjusting to things slowly though and that was something. “No, I was blackboard free today. I didn’t volunteer. Never got around to last night’s reading.” He admitted shaking his head as he took another bite of his sandwich.   
  
Kira’s brows drew together and she hesitated before reaching out and rubbing Scott’s arm briefly, not sure what was wrong, but realizing now that Malia might be right.   
  
Lydia did her best not to roll her eyes at the comment trying to remind herself that no one _liked_ math outside of her. And most people didn’t enjoy going to the board. _You’re just annoyed by her inane comments because you’re having a bad day Martin_ , she thought.   
  
Stiles patted Malia’s arm lightly, almost absently before he picked up a peanut butter cracker and took a bite, mostly so he didn’t have to come up with something to say. What was he _supposed_ to say? _Sorry again about being so weak that I ended up possessed and getting Allison killed_? He didn’t know what to say. No one ever knew what to say. But he knew from personal experience how difficult certain days were after losing someone you loved.   
  
Malia glanced at Stiles sideways and then over at Kira and Scott. “Everyone’s sad. I feel like I missed something.”   
  
Kira bit her bottom lip, she wasn’t stupid, something had obviously upset everyone and though she didn’t know exactly what it was, she had a good idea who it was about. “How do you guys think you did on that Biology test?” She asked changing the subject trying to engage their friends in conversation hoping to get their minds off of whatever was bothering them.   
  
Lydia glanced over at Kira and her expression softened. The other girl was always trying to ease the tension in the group and she knew how hard of a job that could be. She swallowed hard. “I didn’t do as well as I would have liked,” she responded, “But not bad either. You?” She asked before lifting her apple and taking a small bite.   
  
“I definitely need to study more for next time,” Kira told her. “Maybe we could study together for the next one.” Truthfully she felt like she’d done okay on it, but she didn’t want Lydia to feel bad if she hadn’t.   
  
Lydia smiled, “Sure, we can do that.” She said taking another bite of her apple before opening her water bottle.   
  
“Did I say something wrong again?” Malia asked quietly, leaning over to Stiles.   
  
He tried to smile, but he couldn’t manage it. He just shook his head. “No. I think they just don’t want to talk about it. It’s not you,” he said softly.   
  
Malia nodded and took another bite of pizza. “Why? You always say we’re supposed to talk about things. Even when I don’t want to. You said it’s how we understand why people feel a certain way so that we’re not unintentionally rude.” She smiled brightly, “See, I listen when you talk.”   
  
Scott offered his best friend a weak smile as he bit into his sandwich and glanced at Kira. He was pretty sure that she was doing alright in Biology, but he was glad she seemed to be getting along with Lydia. He knew that even if she didn’t always say it she was lonely without Allison...they all were.   
  
Stiles repressed the urge to look at Lydia or Scott. He wasn’t sure how to tactfully explain that that conversation with Malia was mostly meant for just Malia because the others could control their emotions, could control themselves, even when emotions were running high. Malia hadn’t yet learned how to do that _without_ talking things through. “Yeah, I did. But mostly I meant in just one on one situations,” he explained softly. “Like when it’s just you and me.”   
  
Malia’s brows furrowed, “That doesn’t seem fair.” She replied with a frown.   
  
“Sweetheart, life’s not fair. That should be part of the being human 101 lesson plan,” Lydia commented her gaze finally drifting to the girl beside Stiles.   
  
Malia tilted her head to the side, “I think that’s an accurate statement,” she said glancing back at Stiles.   
  
Lydia took a sip of water so she didn’t say something rude and then put it down a minute later. “I rarely if ever make untrue statements.” She told her keeping her tone light and free of annoyance as she reached for one of the crackers Stiles had offered her earlier.   
  
Stiles chewed his lower lip. He was fully aware that that Lydia didn’t like Malia, and he was pretty sure Malia wasn’t overly fond of Lydia either. He wanted to chalk it up to the whole coyote thing but he couldn’t shake the feeling there was a lot more to it than that. Truthfully he was kind of scared to ask. There was tension in the conversation even though Lydia’s voice was light.   
  
Malia really hadn’t learned the fine art of sarcasm or teasing yet. “Why don’t we finish up lunch and go work on that English homework?” he suggested.   
  
Malia shrugged, “Do we have to?” She asked with a pout. “It’s not fun and I still don’t understand what we’re using all this creative writing for. What exactly does it do for us?” She asked while lifting her pizza to her lips and taking a healthy bite. She chewed and swallowed, “I guess at least it isn’t math. Math is pointless.” She said with a sigh.   
  
Scott glanced over at Stiles and Malia. “I don’t like math too much either,” he offered with a soft smile as he took another bite of his sandwich. He could see his friend was struggling with what to say to his girlfriend and he wanted to help if it was possible.   
  
Lydia shook her head, “Math is not-” she paused and shook her head realizing the conversation was pointless and bit into the cracker in her hand taking her time eating it figuring it was best to keep her mouth occupied.   
  
Kira gripped her juice, “I don’t think Math is pointless,” she added sending a small smile in Lydia’s direction. She could see the other girl’s mild irritation and she knew it probably had a lot more to do with things that weren’t math related.   
  
Some of the tension eased in Lydia as she realized she was being a bit too sensitive about the subject in question.   
  
“I know it’s not fun,” Stiles agreed, glancing around at his friend and meeting Scott’s eyes momentarily and giving him a grateful look before turning his attention back to the former coyote. “Math isn’t my favorite subject but it’s important anyway. And we gotta pass all of it so we can eventually graduate.” Truthfully Stiles didn’t have trouble with math or any other subject, really. He wasn’t a genius like Lydia, but he didn’t struggle when it came to school either.   
  
“I miss being a coyote. I didn’t have to worry about studying when I was in the woods. It was just me and the trees.” She sighed, finishing off her pizza.   
  
Scott grinned, “I’ll tell you some days it would probably be nice to become an actual wolf so I could run around in the woods and worry about nothing but trees.”   
  
Lydia snorted and then a grin tugged at her lips, “I just pictured you as a wolf...fur...paws and my day just got a little better.” She told him, nudging his shoulder lightly amused.   
  
“You just want to scratch behind his ears,” Stiles joked, shooting her a grin and looking at Scott. “But let’s not forget the fuzzy tail.”   
  
Kira giggled and lifted a hand to her mouth to her mouth covering it. The only clear thought that kept coming to her was her mother would freak out if she was dating an _actual_ wolf.   
  
Lydia pressed her lips together and tilted her head to the side, “Well I’d imagine he’d be a very cuddly wolf. Nice and soft too. It makes me wonder if he’d actually recognize us. Hmm,” she glanced over at Scott eyeing him critically. “It’s an interesting thought.”   
  
Stiles’ lips tugged upwards as he glanced at Kira when she giggled, and then he looked at Lydia once more, nodding slightly in silent agreement. He was fairly certain she was right -- Scott would be a cuddly wolf.   
  
“I wasn’t cuddly,” Malia cut in.   
  
Lydia’s gaze darted over to her, “No, I don’t imagine you were.” She replied while reaching for her water bottle.   
  
Malia, on the other hand, was not really what he’d describe as cuddly. Sure, they spooned, but he was almost completely sure it was all a territorial thing and that was about it. He rubbed at his forehead as he picked up his bottle of juice and finished it off.   
  
“I’m cuddly _now,_ ” Scott confirmed, glancing sideways at Kira and then at Lydia. “Not too sure on the whole soft part though.”   
  
Kira blushed and glanced down at her sandwich. “I’d definitely agree with that,” she said quietly.   
  
Lydia smiled at them; Scott and Kira were adorable, even if seeing them together on occasion made her heart ache for her best friend. It was rare when that happened though, Lydia knew Allison would want Scott to be happy and she’d gotten along with Kira when she was still alive. Her heart clenched, but she pushed it aside and reached for her water again. “I’m not much of a cuddler myself,” she admitted, though that probably wasn’t the truest thing she’d ever said. Lydia was a cuddler with the right people.   
  
“Maybe you just don’t have a good person to cuddle with,” Malia said with a shrug, “I like it now.” She smiled.   
  
Lydia’s finger tapped against her water bottle momentarily before glancing at Malia, she opened her mouth and then thought better about what she was going to say and closed it. “Or, maybe some people prefer their space.” She told her.   
  
Malia made a face, “I don’t.”   
  
Yes, that was painfully clear, though Lydia said nothing about it just took a sip of water not at all impressed by the other’s girls obvious display of territorialism.   
  
Scott glanced between them as he finished off his sandwich before looking at his best friend and arching an eyebrow as Kira shifted beside him.   
  
Stiles could feel the tension growing and he really wanted to put an end to it before things turned ugly. Again. It wouldn’t be the first time, but overall the others were pretty good about being understanding with Malia. He offered Lydia a strained, apologetic smile, then met Scott’s eyes for a brief second before rising to his feet. “All right. English homework is calling and we have to answer it. See you guys after school?” he asked, holding his hand out to Malia to help her up.   
  
Scott lifted a hand and waved as he glanced between his best friend and Malia.   
  
Malia smiled and took it standing as she reached for her books. Once they were in her hand she sighed and leaned into Stiles nodding. “Yea, English,” she grumbled her gaze drifting to the table. “Bye Scott,” she smiled at Kira, “See you in study hall.” Her gaze drifted to Lydia and she shifted closer to Stiles, “Bye.” she said simply before looking away and nudging Stiles forward.   
  
Lydia did roll her eyes that time, though she was no longer facing the couple when she did.   
  
Kira waved also, smiling. Stiles was even better than her at keeping the peace between everyone though, it seemed that the only two whoever really needed the peacekeeping were Lydia and Malia at this point.   


______

  
  
It was late that evening when Stiles dropped Malia off at her house and drove to Deaton’s clinic across town. He parked his jeep in the empty lot beside Scott’s bike and shut off the headlights, pulled the key from the ignition, and climbed out. The front door was already locked, the lights in the front off, and he slowly made his way around to the backdoor of the building, knocking softly. “Scott? It’s me,” he said, chewing his lower lip.   
  
Scott glanced up from feeding the cats at the sound of knocking following his best friend’s voice. He finished up adding the food to the last bowl, before dragging the large bag to the side of the room and making his way out into the back. He wiped his hands on his pants and glanced at the clock finally realizing how late it was.   
  
He wondered what Stiles was doing there so late as he walked toward the backdoor and unlocked it. He pushed it open and sent him half a smile, “Hey man, what are you doing here? Everything okay?” He asked as he held the door open.   
  
“Yeah,” Stiles said immediately, nodding as he looked at Scott. “Yeah, everything’s fine. I just -- came from dropping Malia off and I thought I’d see if you’d gone home yet and when it was just your bike out there I thought I’d stop in and see what you were up to. I mean, obviously you’re working. I just -- yeah.” He shrugged a little.   
  
Scott lifted an eyebrow at his friend. “I’m just finishing stuff up here,” he explained. He knew his mom was on a late shift and he figured he’d get some extra work done since he didn’t want to head home alone. “How was your night?” He asked as he walked back into the clinic and started straightening up.   
  
“It was okay. Just a lot of math. Like too much math. I don’t even mind math and my brain is fried.” He rubbed a hand over his neck as he followed Scott inside the clinic, ignoring the part of his brain that was anxious to remind him that not all that long ago, he’d stabbed Scott in this same room and wow did he not want to think about that. “Your mom on the night shift tonight?”   
  
Scott glanced over his shoulder and nodded, “Yeah,” he said quietly, “She’s working them most of the week,” he said with a tired sigh. He understood why and he was fine with it normally, but, well as selfish as it sounded he could use her at home right now. He lifted some of the papers and piled them together. “I’m sorry you’re stuck going over all that math. Is it at least helping?” he asked as he finally turned around and leaned against the table facing Stiles.   
  
Stiles went silent for a moment, eyes taking in the slight slump of his best friend’s shoulders. Of the weariness in his eyes and in his voice. He hadn’t come here to talk about Malia or math. That wasn’t what this was about. It was never what this was about. He leaned his elbows on the table. “Why don’t you come over tonight? We can just throw on some old junk movie and go to sleep early.”   
  
Scott swallowed hard and ran a hand over his face before nodding. “Yeah, I’d like that. It’s been a while since we did something like that. Doesn’t it feel like that?” He asked. Sometimes Scott tried to remember the last time any of them had any free time to spend together that didn’t involve something supernatural, but honestly he couldn’t even pretend to answer that. That’s how long it had been.   
  
Stiles couldn’t remember either, and that realization hurt more than a little. “Yeah, it does,” he agreed quietly. Their lives had been complicated since the night he’d dragged Scott into the woods to find a dead body. “We can order pizza if you’re hungry.” He hadn’t eaten anything since lunch even though he’d watched Malia devour an entire sub sandwich in less than five minutes.   
  
Scott nodded, “We can, I’m not all that hungry though,” he replied honestly. He hadn’t been able to eat much all day. He was quiet again for a minute, “I’m pretty much done here. I just gotta grab my books and jacket. But we can head out after that if you want.” He said reaching out and squeezing his friend’s shoulder gently.   
  
“Yeah, sounds good to me,” he agreed, meeting Scott’s eyes momentarily and watching as his friend headed away to finish up what he’d been doing before Stiles showed up.   
  
Scott came back less than five minutes later, jacket on, bag slung over his shoulder. He smiled, “All set, want me to just follow you back to your place?” He asked.   
  
“Yeah.” He nodded and pushed away from the table, straightening up to full height. “See you back at the house.”   
  
Scott nodded and started heading for the door his friend at his side, “Hey Stiles,” he said quietly.   
  
Stiles paused at the door, turning to look at him. “Yeah?”   
  
“Thanks man, I needed this.” He said closing the distance between them and pulling his friend into a hug.   
  
He hugged him back tightly, nodding and wishing that he could take Scott’s emotional pain the way Scott could take a person’s physical pain. “Me too,” he admitted.   
  
Scott tightened his hold on Stiles carefully. “It’s not your fault,” he said quietly. “I know me saying it doesn’t really make it better, but I want you to know that I’m here and no one blames you. It’s a hard week for all of us,” he whispered.   
  
Stiles felt his chest tighten at Scott’s words but he nodded slightly once more. He knew they didn’t blame him. He wondered if it would be easier or harder if they did, though. He really didn’t know the answer. “I know.”   
  
Scott stayed where he was for another couple of minutes before finally shifting back. “As long as you know,” he answered patting his back gently and pulling open the door for both of them. “I’m worried about Lydia,” he admitted as they walked out of the clinic and he paused to lock up the doors.   
  
“Yeah. Yeah, me too,” Stiles told him, looking troubled. It felt like there was a huge space between he and Lydia these days. A space that he knew had only grown because of Malia and how much time he was spending with her trying to help her acclimate to human life. And now the space had gotten so huge he wasn’t entirely sure how to close it up again.   
  
Scott glanced at Stiles sensing the worry coming from him. “She asked me to come over tomorrow. We were going to order some food maybe watch some movies.” He walked over to his bike and paused. “I don’t think she’s handling things as well as she seems to be.”   
  
“That sounds like a good idea,” he said quietly, chewing his lower lip. Of course she wasn’t handling things as well as she seemed to be. Were any of them, really? They were a pack but at the end of the day they were a pack of individuals who tended to keep a tight rein on their own emotions, on their own fears and problems.   
  
Scott nodded. He stood there silently for a minute before reaching for his helmet. “Yeah I think so, we haven’t hung out in a while. It’s been a few weeks since our last sleep over,” he joked lightly as he placed his helmet on his head and smiled.   
  
Stiles nodded, too, looking down at the jeep keys, troubled expression on his face. “Yeah. I’ll see you at the house,” he told him before heading toward the driver’s side.   
  
Scott frowned and opened his mouth to ask Stiles what was wrong, but he was already getting into the car. He shook his head and straddled his bike figuring he’d just ask him when they got back to his house. They’d have the whole night to talk there if they wanted to, which would be nice. Scott had been missing Stiles lately too.   


_____

  
  
Later that night they lay side by side, squished onto Stiles’ bed that was definitely way too small for the two of them these days. Their shoulders were pressed together and Stiles’ hands rested on his stomach as he stared up at the ceiling, at the glow and the dark stickers. “You awake?” he whispered, almost inaudibly, not wanting to wake Scott if he’d managed to fall asleep.   
  
Scott let his eyes flutter open and he nodded, “Yeah,” he responded just as quietly. “I can’t sleep.” He said with a sigh. Scott hadn’t wanted to say anything because he figured Stiles was probably trying to get some sleep even though he could hear from his heartbeat that he was awake.   
  
“Me either,” he confessed, chewing his lower lip. It had been a relatively relaxing night. They’d ordered pizza that neither of them had really touched -- half a slice a piece, and played video games before popping in a movie. Jurassic Park. They were both tired, but it was that kind of tired that was _too_ tired to actually sleep.   
  
Scott shifted his jaw and sighed. He moved his arm and ran a hand through his hair making him bump into Stiles lightly. “Sorry,” he said while moving onto his side so he was facing his friend. “I miss her.” He finally said quietly.   
  
Stiles felt his heart skip a beat at his best friend’s admission, and he nodded slowly, turning so he was on his side facing Scott, too. “I know,” he said just as quietly. “So do I.” He was silent for a moment. “I didn’t -- I didn’t like her at first,” he whispered, holding his breath.   
  
Scott cocked his head slightly to the side. “Really?” he asked a hint of curiosity in his tone, “I didn’t know that...why didn’t I know that?” It was the opposite for him. He was pretty sure he loved Allison from the minute he saw her. Okay, maybe love was a bit strong, but he definitely liked her a hell of a lot that very first day in class when he gave her a pen to borrow.   
  
“Because I never told you,” he said with a slight shrug. And Stiles could be one hell of a pretender when he needed to be. “It wasn’t really anything about her at all. I just...it’d always been the two of us and then it was suddenly the two of you and me.” He shrugged slightly, letting his eyes close. “It was stupid.”   
  
Scott’s expression softened. He rested a hand on Stiles’ arm. “I spent a lot of time with her in those first few months,” he admitted. “I’m sorry if I unintentionally pushed you aside. I never meant to,” he offered quietly. “I guess I just,” he paused, “I was surprised someone like Allison liked someone like me. Especially in the beginning.” He glanced down.   
  
“She made me happy, in a different way than with you obviously,” he said with half a smile, “But I guess I just got sucked into first time relationships and everything that goes along with it. I am sorry though, you know that you were hurt by it.”   
  
Stiles winced, shaking his head. “I wasn’t surprised. Dude, you’re awesome.” He patted his best friend’s arm. “It was just kinda -- I don’t know. I don’t like change.” Which he was pretty sure was obvious. “And it’s fine. Like I said it was just...stupid on my part. You never went anywhere.” He paused, biting down on his lip. “And once I got to know her, I understood it. She was a great person.” His chest tightened. It still hurt talking about Allison Argent in the past tense.   
  
“Scott, I’m so sorry,” he whispered. He’d said it before -- more than once. The first few days after, he’d done so much apologizing he’d lost track of how many times he’d said he was sorry. And then he knew he had to change how he was reacting to things, for their sake. They weren’t going to heal if he couldn’t. And he wasn’t healed. None of them were. “And -- before you say it, I know. I know it wasn’t me. I’m just saying...I’m sorry that you lost her.”   
  
Scott felt his lungs constrict at Stiles words. “I’m sorry too,” he whispered, “I’m sorry we all lost her.” He knew no matter how many times he told him it wasn’t his fault that there wasn’t a day that would go by that Stiles wouldn’t carry this with him and Scott hated that. He hated that his best friend, the person who’s always been there for him still hasn’t really forgiven himself for what happened.   
  
Scott wasn’t stupid, he could smell it on him sometimes, the guilt. They didn’t talk about her much anymore, it hurt them all too much and it was still so very raw. But it was there, with them every day in everything he did. It was one of the reasons it had taken him so long to take things to the next level with Kira. He felt guilty for liking her, guilty for wanting to move forward and be happy when Allison couldn’t.   
  
Stiles swallowed hard, nodding and dropping his gaze to the pillow before he shut his eyes. “I’m sorry I haven’t...been around as much,” he said softly. He’d been tied up with Malia a lot of his free time, either helping her study or trying to help her stay grounded so she didn’t turn and accidentally hurt someone. It felt like if he could just help her to deal with being human, if he could help her adjust and fit in with the pack, that maybe it was a tiny, _tiny_ step in the direction of his own redemption. And maybe it made him a bad person to look at things that way, but he couldn’t help it.   
  
Scott patted his arm. “It’s okay, you’ve been here enough,” he reassured him. “Plus I know you’re trying to help Malia adjust and that takes time.” he said with a nod. “She’s come a long way in the past couple of months thanks to you though. So that’s always a good thing.” He offered finally letting his hand fall back to the bed. “We’ve spent more time together recently than we have in a while,” which was true despite the fact that they didn’t spend as much time together as before the whole werewolf thing happened in general.   
  
He was unsurprised by Scott’s easy acceptance. He expected no less. Scott was pretty much the most selfless person he’d ever known. He nodded at his best friend’s comment about how far Malia had come the last couple of months. It was taking awhile. A lot longer than it had when Scott had first been bitten and turned. But Scott had been human his whole life and Malia had spent over half hers as an actual coyote. There were bound to be a lot of differences.   
  
“Yeah, I guess we have,” he agreed.   
  
Scott lifted his head and moved it around the pillow for a minute to get comfortable. “How are things going with you two?” He asked realizing that was another thing they didn’t talk about all that much despite the fact that Malia had been around for close to three months now.   
  
Stiles shrugged, falling silent for a few moments. “It’s okay. I mean I like her and everything.” He let out a breath.   
  
Scott arched an eyebrow, “Just okay?” He asked keeping his tone light. He never used to be able to get Stiles to shut up about Lydia, not that he didn’t want his friend to talk to him, he did, but he used to talk about her _a lot_ and they weren’t even dating. Now he was with Malia and he could barely get his friend to talk about her outside of a few comments here and there.   
  
“I’m not in love with her,” he admitted quietly. He was pretty sure he never would be. He and Malia weren’t going to be a long-term thing. “I like her. I care about her. I want to help her. But...I’m not in love with her.”   
  
Scott stayed silent for a minute digesting his words. “Does she know that?” he asked quietly because with the way Malia was around him, he wasn’t so sure. She was possessive and Scott knew it was most likely because that was in her nature. She was a coyote for so long that it was bound to affect the way she saw things in all aspects of her life, including relationships.   
  
“I haven’t said it like that, no.” He chewed his thumbnail. “I don’t think she’s really in love with me either. I think it’s just more…” He hesitated. “We just kinda clicked at Eichen House and for whatever reason I seem to ground her or something.”   
  
Scott swallowed hard, “You’re her anchor.” He stated though it was a question. “Maybe you guys would be better off as friends,” he said glancing at Stiles. “You should talk to her about it if you’re not happy with the way things are.”   
  
“Yeah,” he agreed quietly. He was. For whatever reason. He wasn’t sure he understood how the whole anchor thing even worked. “I don’t know how much she’s gonna love that suggestion. I mean it’s not true love or anything, but…” He shrugged. “I don’t know, Scott. It’s not like it’s terrible or anything either.”   
  
Scott glanced up at the ceiling. “Every day I was with Allison was the best day of my life.” He said softly. “I woke up and smiled just thinking about her. I went to school and all I could think about was seeing her. Being in the same room as her, sitting with her, eating lunch with her,” he paused trying not to choke up, “It made me happy in a way that I’m not sure anything will again.” He took a deep breath. “That’s love or it’s what I think is love. A relationship shouldn’t be not terrible; it should be amazing and full of firsts.” He told his friend.   
  
“When we fought, it felt like I couldn’t breathe and other times like I wanted to rip apart dozens of people, but the second we were okay again...everything was perfect.” Scott could feel the moisture gathering in his eyes. “I’m finally starting to move on with Kira and that’s only because as guilty as I feel when I’m with her, the ache in my chest doesn’t feel as bad as it does without her.” He finally glanced at Stiles. “If it doesn’t feel like that man, you guys are doing something wrong.” He murmured quietly.   
  
Stiles had to shut his eyes as Scott described his relationship with Allison. “I know,” he murmured. “I know, Scott. That’s...how I know I’m _not_ in love with her. Because I saw how it was supposed to be. With you and Allison.” He swallowed heavily and let out a breath, turning to lie on his back once more and draping an arm over his eyes. He was silent for a long moment, his chest aching with guilt and sadness that he struggled to trample back down.   
  
“But maybe...I don’t know, maybe it’s just not like that for everyone. I mean maybe not all relationships are meant to be this...big all-consuming love,” he whispered. Maybe the whole _love_ part of things just wasn’t for people like him because people like him weren’t as good as people like Scott and Allison. They sacrificed and tried to do the right thing for everyone and people like Stiles...didn’t. And maybe that meant they didn’t deserve the kind of love that Scott and Allison had. “Maybe it’s just...not in the cards for some of us.” He shrugged slightly.   
  
“I’m glad that...maybe you’re finding it again. With Kira. I like her,” he murmured. Where Allison had been confident and almost intimidating at times, Kira was awkward but adorable and sweet.   
  
Scott watched Stiles in the dark for a minute before mirroring his movements and shifting onto his back again. “Or maybe you just haven’t found the right girl.” He said quietly. He and Allison had always secretly hoped that Stiles would end up with Lydia. She used to tell him how they would all go to college together and get the hell out of Beacon Hills. And then their best friends would always be around and together. Scott had never really wanted anything more than that.   
  
He raised his arms and rested them beneath his head and sighed. Some dreams were hard to let go of. Scott cleared his throat, “It’s different with Kira, not bad...just different. I’m glad you like her, I do too. And she likes Malia for what it’s worth. They seem to get along well,” he offered not that it was required that their girlfriends got along, but it did help.   
  
“Maybe,” Stiles murmured. As much as he’d wanted a girlfriend for as long as he could remember, the one he’d wanted had barely known he was alive, and now...now having a girlfriend wasn’t real high on his priority list. Keeping his dad and Scott and the others alive was pretty much the only thing that mattered to him anymore.   
  
“Lydia hates her.” It wasn’t a question. Stiles _knew_ Lydia didn’t like Malia. And Malia didn’t like Lydia either. It made things pretty complicated, but he supposed that not everyone was going to like each other and get alone. After all, he and Isaac had barely resisted throttling one another anytime they were in the same room together and the only reason that they’d managed was because of Scott, really.   
  
Scott pursed his lips and shifted moving his hands out from beneath his head and resting them on his stomach. He tapped his fingers not correcting Stiles comment because really there wasn’t anything to correct. Stiles was right. Lydia did not like her and he was pretty sure the only reason the redhead tolerated her presence was for Stiles.   
  
He had a feeling there was more to it then just not liking her, and Scott was pretty sure he knew what that was, but it wasn’t something he and Lydia ever actually talked about in detail. “Lydia isn’t exactly Malia’s favorite person either,” he replied carefully not wanting it to seem like he was taking sides since he wasn’t and there were no sides to take. Scott liked everyone.   
  
“Yeah, I know,” he said quietly. He chewed his lower lip for a moment and then turned his head to look at Scott. “I think I kinda get why on both parts, though.” At least, he was pretty sure he got it.   
  
Scott angled his head towards Stiles, “Oh? Why?” He asked curious to see what his friend’s take on the situation was.   
  
He drew in a breath. “Well, for Lydia it’s...kind of like what it was with me and Isaac. I think she feels like I can’t care about both of them,” he said carefully. “Or, that I can’t like, I don’t know, balance the two. And for Malia, I think...she feels like Lydia’s a threat.”   
  
“Is she?” Scott asked quietly.   
  
“Yes,” he answered, voice barely audible. “She’ll never not be a threat because I’m never going to not love her.” He shrugged.   
  
Scott’s hand stopped moving and he let out a breath. “Allison was always rooting for you two to get together,” he responded quietly, “Ever since the beginning.” He swallowed hard. “I think you're wrong about Lydia. I don’t think that’s why she doesn’t like Malia.”   
  
Stiles' chest tightened at the mention of Allison. He wasn’t really surprised to hear that, considering Allison was the one who’d made Lydia go to the winter formal with him. Hot tears stung his eyes and he kept them closed. He knew where Scott was going with that and he shook his head. “Scott, I can’t...let myself go there anymore.” His voice was soft.   
  
“Okay,” Scott said immediately. “I take it back, you’re probably right anyway.” He said quietly his body stilling. He could practically taste his friends emotions. He hadn’t meant to make him even more upset than he was before. “I’m sorry.” Scott said finally as he reached out and rested a hand on Stiles’ shoulder.   
  
“No, hey. You don’t owe me any apologies, man.” He shook his head slightly. “I’m just -- that whole ten or fifteen year plan thing...it was dumb. And pretty immature. I don’t want to be that guy anymore, you know?” And he really, really didn’t want to get his hopes up to have them crushed again, which was what would happen if he let himself go there.   
  
Scott nodded. “Yeah...okay.” He pressed his lips together and stared at the ceiling for a minute silently. “But for the record, I didn’t think it was stupid.” He admitted, “Life’s short, especially for people like us. I guess it’s one of the reasons I finally decided to move forward with Kira. Do I still love Allison?” He paused his chest tightening, “Always, I’ll never stop loving her,” his eyes burned and he closed them, “But she isn’t coming back and she wouldn’t want me to be unhappy forever. And every day that passes...I’m terrified that something is going to happen to Kira before I can even have a chance with her.” Scott rubbed his stomach.   
  
“Sometimes when you see something terrible happen, it makes you realize how important certain people are to you. And you realize how stupid you’ve been. And how maybe waiting isn’t always the best thing to do.” Scott let out a shaky breath.   
  
He managed a tiny, faint smile at Scott’s utter loyalty to Stiles’ childhood obsession with his ten year plan, but his chest tightened again when he started talking about how life was short, and how waiting wasn’t always the best thing. He nodded, shifting onto his side again so he was facing Scott and wordlessly he reached out and draped his arm over his best friend’s chest in a weird kind of hug. “I know,” he said quietly. “And I don’t think -- I don’t think Allison would want you to put that off.”   
  
Scott swallowed hard and rested his hand on Stiles’ arm patting it gently. “I know she wouldn’t because Allison was pretty amazing. And I know we were both moving on before...but I know in the end, it would have been us. I would have spent the rest of my life with her and sometimes, god dude,” he sucked in a breath, “sometimes letting that dream go hurts more than any torture possibly could.” He whispered trying not to let the tears fall. “And for the record I wasn’t talking about me.” He admitted.   
  
Stiles bit down hard on his tongue to try and keep a grip on his own emotions. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d talked about Allison before today. Not like this anyway. Not in a Scott and Allison together forever kind of way. In the back of his mind, he knew that had always been the plan. Their fate. Or he thought it was anyway. As it turned out, fate had other plans involving chaos and terror and destruction. And death.   
  
He kind of hated fate a lot.   
  
He exhaled at Scott’s admission, closing his eyes and nodding. Of course he knew that wasn’t what Scott had meant, but he also knew Scott needed this -- needed to talk about Allison. Needed to say these things out loud, to have someone else witness and affirm them. “I know,” he murmured.   
  
“I don’t want to let it go,” Scott felt a tear fall and he wiped it away quickly, “or her. I--I don’t,” he moistened his throat, “I see it sometimes. That moment. Sleeping is hard, not sleeping is hard. A lot of stuff is hard,” he commented. “And with everything happening now, I’m so afraid we’re going to lose someone else. And I can’t, I can’t lose anyone else.” He turned his head so he could see Stiles.   
  
He wanted to tell Scott that he wouldn’t lose anyone else, that it was all going to be okay. But they were so far past the point where Scott would believe those kinds of reassurances and so far past the point where Stiles could bring himself to say them. He opened his watery eyes, nodding when Scott looked at him. He wanted to apologize again, but he choked on the words because he knew that part of healing was talking about it, and he didn’t want Scott to be too worried about him to do that.   
  
“Dude, you can _always_ come here. Anytime. Day or night,” he whispered. “If you can’t sleep or if you have a nightmare or you just need to talk. You can always come here, Scott.”   
  
Scott nodded forcing himself to calm down, “I know and I appreciate that...I might even take you up on it.” He said with half a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “And I hope you know you can always come to me too. My window is always open...the door too.” He told Stiles. “You’re my best friend, and I know that this gets to you too and I know you feel bad, but Stiles I don’t blame you. None of us do and I know that doesn’t really make things better, but you can come to me if you need to talk about anything. I’ll always listen.”   
  
Stiles drew in a breath and let it out slowly, reaching up and rubbing his forehead. “I know.” His voice was quiet. He knew they didn’t blame him for any of it. And maybe one day he’d take Scott up on that offer. But today wasn’t that day. It wasn’t about him. It was about Scott. Being there for his best friend, who was carrying a lot of his own troubles around as well as everyone else’s. “And I will.” He squeezed Scott’s shoulder. “I’m just...not ready yet.” He wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready.   
  
“Well, whenever you are then,” Scott said as he shifted his head on the pillow once again turning his gaze on the ceiling. He could tell Stiles was uncomfortable so he wouldn’t push. Stiles would come to him when he was ready, he hoped.   
  
He nodded, shifting slightly on the bed and tucking a hand beneath the pillow as he remained on his side facing Scott. “You tired?” he asked quietly.   
  
“I’m always tired, Dude.” He said the words with a slight quirk in his lip. “I guess we should try to sleep.” Though Scott still wasn’t sure that would actually happen. His gaze drifted to the window, “I hope Lydia is okay.” He said suddenly not sure why she’d popped into his head other than the fact that they were just talking about her a little while ago.   
  
“Do you think she’s not?” Stiles sat up a little, propping himself up on one elbow and frowning worriedly. “Like do you have a bad feeling or something?”   
  
Scott shook his head, “Not that kind of feeling.” He said quietly. “But I am worried.” He admitted. “I know it seems like she’s got everything together, but I can smell a lot of things on her and ‘okay’ isn’t one of them,” he paused, “Not that ‘okay’ is an emotion, but you know what I mean.” He explained.   
  
“I feel like she’s cutting herself off from us even though she’s right beside us and that scares me too. I feel like we’re losing her.” It was another thing that Scott had been worried about for a while now. Allison was Lydia’s Stiles and Scott knew he wouldn’t be okay if anything ever happened to his best friend, he hadn’t been okay when Stiles _almost_ died, so how Lydia went around every day the way she did Scott would never know. She was strong, but everyone had a breaking point.   
  
Stiles winced, closing his eyes and laying his head back down on the pillow. He felt his throat tighten and he struggled to breathe for a moment. “How could she be okay? Her best friend is gone.” And he’d come so close to losing his own best friend on more than one occasion in the last few months than it was terrifying.   
  
And once it had almost been because of his own hands. He flexed his fingers and brought a hand to his mouth, chewing his thumbnail.   
  
Scott nodded. “I know,” he said quietly. “I know she isn’t okay,” he admitted, “Because even though it doesn’t look like it her emotions have been so heightened lately. But, I don’t know what to do. I think she doesn’t talk to me because she knows how much it still hurts me that Allison is gone,” he said with a frown. “And I guess I just worry if she’s not talking to me...then who is she talking to, you know?” Scott gave a half-hearted shrug as he shifted again on the bed.   
  
“I just don’t want to lose anyone else. I know I can’t always keep everyone safe and happy, but I mean that’s my job.” Scott looked down, “I’m supposed to be this true alpha and as well as we all work together as a pack when the going gets tough, I can feel the disconnect there when we’re not all fighting for our lives and...I don’t like it.”   
  
Stiles blew out a breath and rolled onto his back again, rubbing his hands over his face. He’d felt it too. The disconnect. And he didn’t like it either, and he knew it was largely his fault. Again. What wasn’t anymore, really? he wondered. “It isn’t -- Scott, it isn’t just on you, okay? To figure all this out. I mean that’s what we’re supposed to be for, right? To help you.” And he hadn’t done a very good job at helping anyone lately, except for Malia, and he wasn’t sure that was really a good job either, considering how little control she still had on full moons.   
  
“I’ll talk to her,” he whispered. Assuming she’d let him. There was a distance between them now that he hated, that he didn’t know how to get rid of. He wasn’t even sure he could.   
  
Scott turned his head so he was facing Stiles. “This isn’t your fault,” the words were meant to be reassuring, but Scott knew they didn’t really help. He wished they did because he hated that Stiles had taken so much guilt onto himself lately. “I know things haven’t been the same, but Dude,” he paused, “I just wish there was something I could do to help you too,” he admitted. “I hate that you’re dealing with all of this on top of everything else.” Stiles probably held onto more guilt than all of them combined.   
  
“Have you guys talked at all since Mexico?” he asked quietly as he moved his hands onto his stomach.   
  
“Scott, I’m fine,” he said softly. “You don’t need to worry about me.” God knew they’d all done enough of just that in the last few months. He didn’t want to be a problem anymore. “And, yeah, we’ve talked. Just...not a lot.” He drummed his fingers on his stomach.   
  
“You’re not,” he countered, “But none of us are,” he added. “Maybe you can come with me tomorrow when I go there. I can’t remember the last time the three of us did something together outside of a crisis.”   
  
Stiles sighed softly, letting his eyes drift shut. He was right. None of them were really okay. He wasn’t sure they ever would be again. “Probably because it’s never actually happened,” he murmured.   
  
Scott tilted his head to the side and his chest ached. “We should change that.” He whispered quietly, eyes burning. “Allison would want me to take care of her, Stiles. She loved Lydia,” he swallowed hard, “She loved her like I love you and every day her pain gets deeper and I don’t know how to fix it and that kills me. I didn’t think I could fail Allison anymore with her gone and yet...I am.”   
  
He was silent for a long moment before he reached out and wrapped his hand around Scott’s arm, squeezing it gently. Not that he could actually hurt him at this point. He would never _want_ to, for that matter. “I don’t think any of us knows how to fix it, Scott,” he whispered.   
  
Scott ran a hand over his face and took a deep breath letting it out slowly, “I know,” he said a minute later, his voice calmer this time. “I’m sorry, I just--it’s hard.” He stayed silent for another minute before speaking again as he tilted his head towards Stiles, “I think this is the most we’ve talked about Allison since everything happened.” He all but whispered.   
  
“I know,” he murmured. That had occurred to him, too. “I’m sorry it took so long for that to happen.” He drew in a breath and let it out slowly. “I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you the way I should have been.” For him, and for Lydia.   
  
Scott shook his head, “You have nothing to apologize for,” he hesitated, “if I’m being honest...I don’t always like talking about her. It hurts too much. But sometimes I guess I just need to get it out.” He said with a shift of his shoulder.   
  
“And I want you to be able to do that with me,” Stiles said quietly. “I mean we’ve always been able to talk about everything with each other. And...you need to, Scott. I know it’s hard, and I haven’t exactly made it easier, but...no matter what, you have to know I’m here for you.”   
  
Scott let out a heavy breath and he nodded, “Yeah man, I know.” He patted Stiles’ arm. “We’ve all been kind of all over the place lately, hopefully that will change soon though because it feels wrong how far apart everyone’s grown. I don’t like the distance and with Allison gone...and Isaac and Ethan. I just I feel this overwhelming sense of urgency to strengthen the bond between the people we have left. I don’t know why, but I _need_ the closeness.”   
  
He needed it too, but he’d been avoiding it for a myriad of reasons. But Scott’s words hurt and he shifted onto his side and lifted his head and looked at him seriously.   
  
“Then let’s fix it.”   
  
Scott shifted too once again mirroring his movements, brows drawn together, lips pursed. “How? because if I knew, I would have done it already.”   
  
Stiles shifted again, sitting up all the way and reaching over to the nightstand. He picked up his cell phone and drew in a breath, flipping through his contacts until his thumb found the one he was looking for. He pressed the button and put the phone to his ear and waited.   
  
Lydia was lying in bed, hands resting on her stomach as she stared at the ceiling. It was late, but she couldn’t sleep, not that she was surprised by that. Her body had gotten used to the lack of sleep over the past two months. It was quite in her house, dark too, but her eyes had adjusted to the lack of light hours ago.   
  
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly the sound of her cell phone buzzing beside her on the bedside table startling her to the point that she jumped. Lydia let out a breath and glanced at the clock. She frowned and shifted onto her side reaching for the phone. Her fingers curled around it and when she saw the name on the caller ID, Lydia hesitated.   
  
It had been a while since Stiles had called, even longer since he’d called this late. She bit her bottom lip debating whether or not to answer it, but then rolling her eyes at how dumb she was being. It was late, something was probably wrong. Lydia slid her finger across the screen and brought the phone to her ear. “Hey,” she said her voice clear, “Everything okay?”   
  
It was his turn to hesitate now. Because it _had_ been awhile since he’d called her, let alone late at night. God, she was probably freaked out that something was wrong. But her voice sounded clear and strong. She was as wide awake as they were. That much was obvious. He drew in a breath, unconsciously gripping onto Scott’s arm.   
  
“Hey. Yeah. Everything’s --” He paused, then shook his head. “No. Not really. I mean nothing’s happening or anything, nothing dire or terrible it’s just…” He bit his lip for a second. “Scott and I are at my house and you should be here with us.”   
  
Lydia’s grip on the phone tightened and she sat up in bed as she swallowed heavily. She leaned back against the headboard and pressed her lips together. “It’s late Stiles,” she said the words quietly. “We have school tomorrow and, you guys need your sleep.” It was a stupid thing to say because obviously if he was calling her, neither of them were sleeping. But it had been a long time since she’d been to Stiles’ house and with the emotions currently filling her chest she wouldn’t be good company at all.   
  
“Were you asleep?” he asked, arching his eyebrows. Because she sounded pretty awake to him. As awake as he and Scott were. And really, it wasn’t like it would be the first time they’d missed out on sleep for whatever reason.   
  
“I--no. But I’m in bed.” She stretched her legs out in front of her and sighed softly, “Is there a particular reason you want me to come over?” She asked, “You said everything is okay right? Scott’s okay? You’re fine?” Lydia inquired as she picked at the blanket on her legs.   
  
“Then we’ll come to you,” he told her matter-of-factly. “See you soon, Lydia.” He didn’t give her a chance to respond before hanging up the phone. Then his eyes widened. “I just hung up on Lydia.”   
  
Scott sat up and arched an eyebrow at Stiles. “She’s going to be pissed.” He pointed out, his lips twitching slightly at the corner. “Thank god it’s not at me,” he said as half a smile tugged at his lips. He dragged his legs over the bed and dropped them to the floor. “Roadtrip to Lydia’s?” He asked, having heard the conversation from beside him.   
  
He raked a hand through his hair, groaning. “She’s gonna kill me,” he grumbled, swinging his legs over the other side of the bed.   
  
“Well, in your defense she wasn’t being very cooperative,” he replied as he stood up stretching and then bent forward to grab for his shoes.   
  
“She’s angry at me,” he said quietly as he shoved his own feet into shoes, tucking his phone into the pocket of his flannel pajama bottoms.   
  
Scott hesitated, “I don’t think she’s angry with you Stiles. I think,” he paused trying to find the right words, “I think she’s just sad.” And missing a particular sarcastic best friend of his, but Scott didn’t think Stiles would appreciate hearing that at the moment. He reached for his phone and tucked it into his sweats before rubbing a hand over his hair.   
  
She was both, and she had the right to be. He just nodded at Scott’s words and grabbed his keys off the nightstand. “Come on,” he said quietly.


	2. Chapter 2

Lydia paced the downstairs hallway in her nightgown, cell phone clutched in her hand. She was going to kill him. He hung up on her. In the middle of a sentence no less. What was his problem? She let out a low disgruntled noise as she turned once again and starting heading in the other direction. Sometimes Stiles could grate on her nerves...okay fine lately he’d been getting on her nerves a lot, but it wasn’t his fault. It was hers.   
  
Things between them had been strained for awhile. They still talked and they were still friends, but something was different and the closeness that they’d shared, that Lydia had gotten used to, seemed to be slipping away and she didn’t like it one bit. But it wasn’t like she could admit that. Stiles was with Malia now, and as annoying as the coyote was Stiles cared about her and so Lydia put up with her for him and for Scott.   
  
But Stiles calling out of the blue, inviting himself and Scott over and then hanging up on her, not okay. It was true, Lydia didn’t really want to be alone, but she also didn’t want them just coming over because of what the day was. A flash of headlights outside the windows pulled her from her thoughts and she took a deep breath and headed for the door.   
  
Stiles followed Scott slowly up to the doorway moments later. He could see Lydia’s form standing in the door and he swallowed hard, struggling to resist the urge he had to go crawl back into the jeep and just pass out in the backseat. No. He forced himself to take a deep breath. This was ridiculous. He shouldn’t have been pulling away from her or Scott in the first place and he wouldn’t have gotten into this mess at all.   
  
He sunk his teeth into his lower lip, tucking his hands into the pockets of his red hoodie as they made their way to the door, meeting Lydia’s eyes briefly. “Hi.”   
  
Lydia arched an eyebrow, “Is that all you have to say? No, ‘sorry I hung up on you Lydia?’” She asked even as she stepped aside and opened the door wider so they could come in.   
  
Scott glanced between them and squeezed Stiles’ arm lightly before he walked inside, “Hey, sorry Stiles hung up on you,” he offered sending her a tired smile as he stepped further into the house.   
  
Lydia’s expression softened just slightly at his words.   
  
Stiles stepped inside behind Scott, wincing a little at her question. “I am sorry I hung up on you,” he told her, rubbing the back of his neck.   
  
Lydia turned her gaze back to Stiles and she watched him for a minute before nodding and closing the door behind him. “So...what are you guys doing here?” She asked as she stepped back from the door, even though she had a feeling she already knew the answer to that question.   
  
“Scott needed his pack tonight,” Stiles said quietly. “So I brought him.”   
  
Lydia held Stiles’ gaze for a minute before glancing at Scott and nodding, trying to push aside the spark of pain that tugged at her heart. He was there for Scott, she should have known. It wasn’t surprising and Lydia was fine with that. Mostly...Scott was her friend and if he needed her, then she’d be there just like always.   
  
She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Scott’s neck pulling him into a hug. “You know you’re always welcome here,” she whispered.   
  
It took Scott a second to wrap his arms around her and a small portion of tension drained from his body. He held onto her tightly. “I know,” he replied quietly.   
  
Lydia stayed like that for a couple of minutes before slowly pulling back and studying Scott’s face before turning her attention briefly to Stiles. “Did you guys want to come upstairs?”   
  
There was something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Something that felt like a barrier between them that he didn’t know how to cross. He wasn’t even sure if he should try. He tried to remind himself that Scott needed him even if Lydia didn’t want him there. Regardless of what Scott had said earlier, Lydia _was_ angry with him. “If that’s okay.” He held her gaze, uncertainty in his eyes.   
  
Lydia nodded trying to ignore the uncertainty she saw in his gaze. She looked away from him; “Sure,” she said keeping her tone light and stepping back from Scott as she motioned for them to follow her upstairs. She made the trek silently her stomach tightening as she reached the top of the steps.   
  
Scott frowned slightly at what he smelled from her and he glanced over his shoulder at Stiles briefly, his brows drawing together as he tried to figure out why she was feeling nervous.   
  
Stiles watched as she headed toward the stairs and then shifted his gaze to look at Scott, shrugging a little.   
  
Scott waited for Stiles before heading up after Lydia, reaching the top of the steps a minute later and hesitating when he spotted her bedroom door open. He nudged Stiles, “You can go first,” he said his voice traveling into the bedroom.   
  
Lydia stood inside her room and rolled her eyes, “You know, you could both just come inside,” she called out to them, “It’s not like my bedroom bites.”   
  
Stiles rolled his eyes when Scott nudged him, and he shook his head again, stepping forward and into Lydia’s bedroom. He slid his hands into his hoodie pockets again, just for something to do with them and moved to sit down in one of the chairs by her bed.   
  
Lydia’s eyes followed Stiles for a minute before she spotted Scott walking into the room. She sat on her bed and ran a hand through her hair.   
  
Scott sat in the other empty chair, his gaze drifting around the room spotting a picture of Lydia and Allison on her vanity. He swallowed hard, his chest tightening.   
  
Lydia rested her hands on the bed and bit her lower lip. They both looked uncomfortable and she wasn’t sure what to say to put either of them at ease. “It’s my favorite picture,” she said finally when she noticed where Scott’s gaze was. “I didn’t have the heart to put it away with the rest.” Even though it was hard to get up and look at it every day, she added silently.   
  
The tension in the room was uncomfortably thick and Stiles took a breath, leaning forward in the chair and letting his gaze drift to the picture. He hesitated a second, looking down at his hands. “After my mom died, my dad took down all the pictures in the house we had of her. Except one in my room. It wasn’t til a couple years ago that I found where he’d stored them and I put a couple back out.” He twisted his fingers together. “I think...it’s good that you didn’t put all of them away.” His voice was quiet.   
  
Lydia’s expression softened at his words. She glanced down and shrugged, “I guess, it’s hard to see them.” She admitted, “It’s always one of the first things I see in the morning and it’s like realizing she’s gone all over again every time I do.”   
  
Scott finally glanced away from the picture and reached out squeezing Stiles’ arm gently before speaking. “I still have her pictures out. I’m not entirely sure I’ll ever be able to put them away. I think I’m afraid I’ll forget if I do.”   
  
“I have a really good one of the four of us. It was -- when we all went ice skating,” he admitted. “I’ve got it set in my room with the picture of my mom.” He looked up at Lydia, sadness in his eyes.   
  
Lydia’s heart clenched at his words and she met his gaze, doing her best to keep the pain off her face. It had been one of the few times all four of them were together for something outside of pack trouble. It was also one of the first times she actually _saw_ Stiles as more than Scott’s geeky sidekick. “That was a good night,” she whispered breaking their stare a minute later.   
  
Lydia cleared her throat and shifted on her bed until she was sitting with her back against the headboard. “You guys can get comfortable if you want,” she offered to get her mind off the thoughts currently flowing through her head. “There’s more than enough room up here if you want to try and relax.”   
  
Stiles only hesitated for a moment before he rose to his feet and moved over to the other side of her bed, stretching out beside her after slipping off his shoes. He looked at Scott and raised his eyebrows. “Come on, Dude. You know you want to snuggle.” His voice was light but his eyes were still full of worry.   
  
Scott sent his best friend half a smile and nodded as he stood hesitating briefly by the foot of the bed not sure where to go.   
  
Lydia shifted putting some space between her and Stiles before patting the bed. “There’s room for you right here.” She said lightly figuring it was better for Scott to be between her and Stiles anyway. Knowing her she’d end up trying to take comfort in his arms and well, that wasn’t really a place she could go anymore. At least that’s what it felt like.   
  
Scott kicked his shoes off carefully and then climbed up the bed and dropped down between Stiles and Lydia. He let out a breath letting himself relax into the soft mattress. “Thanks,” he said quietly sensing Stiles’ worry and Lydia’s too.   
  
Lydia rested her head on one of her pillows and nodded, “No problem.” She replied softly reaching out and giving his arm a gentle squeeze.   
  
Stiles laid his head down on the pillow and let out a breath, too. He looked over to Scott and Lydia, chewing his lower lip.   
  
Scott was silent for several minutes, he could feel the tension in the room and he wasn’t quite sure how to make it go away. He shifted slightly and lifted a hand to his head. “I think I’m going to use the bathroom really quick,” Scott sat up, “It’s the second door on the left right?” He asked as he started shifting off the bed.   
  
“The right,” she corrected quietly.   
  
Stiles shifted so Scott could get off the bed more easily, then he leaned back against the headboard, looking down at his hands as his best friend headed to the bathroom. “Are you okay?” he asked softly.   
  
Lydia pushed herself into a sitting position and glanced over at Stiles. She lifted her shoulder in a shrug. “Not really,” she answered honestly, “But I’m used to it.” She told him keeping her tone light.   
  
He exhaled, looking over at her. “Lyds...I’m sorry. I’m trying to find some kind of balance with things and I’m just...I’m not yet. I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you.”   
  
Lydia pressed her lips together and then glanced over at him. “It’s fine Stiles. You don’t need to apologize.” She didn’t have a right to be upset with him even though a part of her was. Stiles had other priorities and she was going to have to learn how to deal with that. “We’ve all got a lot going on.” She said diplomatically.   
  
“Yes, I do,” he said sincerely, holding her gaze. “I’ve been a shitty friend and we both know it.”   
  
Lydia sighed, “What do you want me to say?” She asked glancing at him her voice quiet. “You want me to tell you you’re a horrible friend?” she angled her body in his direction, “Because you aren’t. Have you been a bit absent the past couple of months? Yeah, but pretty much everyone has. It’s been hard on all of us.” And yes, she thought Stiles would have been there, but at the same time can she really blame him for not being there?   
  
Lydia missed him, and yes she was annoyed that most of his time was spent with Malia, but again did she really have a right to be upset about that? Maybe she was the bad guy for expecting so much of Stiles.   
  
Stiles looked down. “I just...I want us to be okay,” he admitted. And he did. He didn’t like the distance between them, and he was scared that they weren’t going to be able to fix it. “I mean -- you and I. I mean, I want _everyone_ to be okay, but I want us to be okay with each other.”   
  
He wanted it to be like it was before the Nogitsune had ruined their lives.   
  
Lydia picked at the covers, “I want that too Stiles,” her voice was soft, but she didn’t look at him as she spoke, “To be honest I don’t even know what happened. I have no idea why things are the way they are.” Yes, she knew why she was keeping her distance from him now, but Lydia had no idea why he’d pulled away from her first, why he distanced himself from her and the only thing she could think of was because of Malia. And irrationally that made her dislike the other girl more than she already did.   
  
He swallowed hard and shut his eyes for a moment. “Because I’m scared, Lydia,” he whispered, voice barely audible. “I’m -- freaking _terrified_ all the time. I just...I know you guys don’t blame me for everything that happened. I _know_ that.” He drew in a breath. “The only time I’m not afraid is when I’m trying to explain something basic to her. Because then she’s more scared than me.” And god now that he’d said it out loud, it sounded even worse than it had in his head.   
  
Concern filtered across Lydia’s face, “Terrified of what?” She inquired not bothering to ask who ‘she’ was. Lydia knew perfectly well who Stiles was referring to.   
  
“Everything.” He let out a shaky breath. “I haven’t stopped being afraid since the day Jennifer kidnapped my dad.” He rubbed a hand over his face.   
  
Lydia remembered that night vividly. It was the same one she’d come severely close to dying. On instinct she reached out to him, resting her hand on his arm as her body closed some of the distance between them. “Why wouldn’t you ever say anything? We must have talked a dozen times about everything that happened. You have to know you aren’t the only one. We’re all afraid Stiles, some of us more than others, but the fear is still there, constantly.”   
  
“I didn’t see the point,” he admitted, voice strained. “I know it’s not just me. But I think it’s why it picked me. The Nogitsune. I think that was its foothold.” He swallowed heavily.   
  
Lydia swallowed heavily at his words. Was that what he’d been thinking this whole time? It was a stupid question. Of course it was. She squeezed his arm gently, “Stiles, I don’t know why the Nogitsune chose you. I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but being afraid didn’t cause this. Scott...Allison,” she said her best friend’s name and pain sparked in her chest, “They were afraid too. A lot more than they let on. This wasn’t your fault and I know it’s not easy because you can’t just forget what happened, but I’m telling you. This wasn’t something you did; it was just a terrible thing that happened to you.” She whispered.   
  
Tears flooded his eyes and wordlessly he shifted closer to her, wrapping his arms around her tightly and burying his face against her shoulder.   
  
Lydia tensed and hesitated for less than a minute before returning the hug and resting a hand at the back of his neck, her nails brushing lightly against the skin there. Her eyes burned with unshed tears as she tightened her hold on him. “I wish you would have come to me sooner,” she murmured. “I hate that you didn’t.” Lydia admitted before letting her eyes fall shut briefly. “And I’m sorry for avoiding you.” her tone was reserved as she continued moving her fingers near the base of his neck.   
  
He tightened his arms around her, too. “I’m sorry period,” he whispered. “That I haven’t been around much. I’m gonna change that. I promise.” One hand tangled in her hair.   
  
Lydia felt her heartbeat jump slightly in her chest and she shoved whatever she was feeling aside calming her breathing as she leaned into him. It had been a while since he’d held her like this and she really had missed it. She rested her head near his shoulder, her nose brushing lightly against his neck. “I know you are and it’s okay if you can’t,” she replied relaxing into him, “I don’t expect you to spend all your time with me, Stiles.” She knew she couldn’t ask him to do that because Stiles wasn’t hers. It didn’t matter that he was the only one who could calm her down, or help her focus. Stiles had someone in his life now, someone that wasn’t her.   
  
He laid his head against hers, relaxing a little almost involuntarily. “I can. And I will,” he murmured, closing his eyes. He _wanted_ to. He just hadn’t allowed himself to for a lot of reasons. “I mean not _all_ of it, because my dad still needs me too. And I can’t...completely ditch Malia.” He wouldn’t feel right about that, either, even if he was growing more sure that Scott was right. He and Malia just...weren’t going to work. She didn’t have his heart. She never would. “But...things need to change.”   
  
“I never asked you to,” she said immediately her body tensing slightly as she took a deep breath and then let it out slowly relaxing again. That had been a little too defensive, “I just meant--I wasn’t asking you to ditch anyone...especially not your dad,” she added the words muffled by his shoulder. Though she wouldn’t be complaining if he ditched Malia. Lydia really needed to stop being so catty in her head. At least _she_ had enough of a filter not to say things out loud.   
  
“I know,” he said just as quickly, tightening his hold on he just a bit. “I know you didn’t.” He bit his lip, resting his back against the headboard as he held her. “I’m not happy with how things are and...I’m the one who has to change them.” He exhaled.   
  
Lydia shifted towards him, resting against his side, her arm slipping around his midsection, fingers tapping gently against his shirt. “Not happy with what things?” She asked curiously keeping her eyes on her hand.   
  
“Malia,” he said softly.   
  
Lydia arched an eyebrow, “Oh?” she said doing her best not to sound too enthusiastic about his answer. Not only would that be wrong, but it would be rude. Her body unconsciously moved closer to him, her leg brushing against his. “I’m sorry,” she responded, “Any particular reason why?” Outside of the obvious, said the voice inside her head.   
  
_Suck it up, Stilinski,_ he thought, holding his breath for a moment. “Because...I’m not in love with her,” he admitted. “And I’m not going to be.”   
  
Lydia’s hand stilled against his chest and she felt her heartbeat accelerate in her chest. She swallowed heavily to moisten her throat trying to find the right words, but unsure of what they were. “I’m sorry to hear that,” okay maybe that was an exaggeration, “But maybe there’s a reason you don’t love her,” she said quietly, “Maybe she’s just not the right girl for you.” Lydia replied simply, hoping he couldn’t feel the nervous pounding of her heart against his chest.   
  
“Maybe.” His voice sounded kind of wry. “Or maybe you just...can’t be in love with two people at the same time.” He bit his lip hard.   
  
Lydia’s hand tightened reflexively at his side as her heart jumped in her chest. Did that mean he still cared about _her_? That he loved her? Lydia didn’t want to assume, but even if it was her that didn’t mean he wanted to be with her. “I would hope not,” she said quietly before backtracking, “Because that would be complicated,” she added lamely keeping her gaze trained away from him.   
  
“Just a bit,” he agreed, gently rubbing her back. He was quiet for a moment. “So...I’m gonna break it off with her. I just have to do it gently so she doesn’t...freak out.” He winced.   
  
Lydia frowned finally tilting her head to look up at him. “What do you mean freak out?” She asked her brows drawing together. “She can’t get angry with you just because you don’t feel the same way she does. At least you’re trying to be a good guy about it.” She said matter-of-factly.   
  
“I mean...get upset and you know, rip out someone’s throat or something,” he admitted, blowing out a breath. “Because she’s getting more under control but...we’re not quite there yet.” He met her eyes and smiled, but it was faint and didn’t reach his eyes.   
  
Lydia pursed her lips, “I’m not above wolfsbane laced weapons,” she commented casually. “And you shouldn’t have to be worried about her hurting someone; I mean...would she really do that?” She asked quietly her chest tightening as she glanced up at him again, “ _Has_ she done that?”   
  
“Ripped out someone’s throat? I mean, she did...sorta kill her mom and sister but I’m hoping she’s a lot more...stable now.” He bit his lip, shrugging. “I don’t think she’d _want_ to. It’s just...the anger thing.”   
  
Lydia shook her head, “I meant recently. How violent is she?” In all honesty she hadn’t spent much time with the other girl purposefully. They didn’t get along and Lydia had distanced herself from her almost immediately. “She’s never been violent with you, right? I mean you're the only person she actually likes.” Lydia replied keeping the odd tone that she couldn’t seem to place out of her voice.   
  
“Not intentionally, no,” he assured her. Frankly he was kind of glad that Lydia had kept her distance from Malia, because Malia didn’t like her either, and he didn’t want Lydia to end up getting hurt. “And...I think she kind of likes Kira?”   
  
Lydia arched an eyebrow, “Are you asking me or telling me?” She shook her head against his chest, “It doesn’t matter she can’t have her. Kira is with Scott and I have it under good authority that Kira cares about him a lot. What Malia needs to do is stop pursuing people who are already taken,” she mumbled before pausing, “Because Kira’s with Scott.” She said again as her finger started lightly tapping his chest again.   
  
His eyes widened. “I didn’t mean -- I mean she likes her as a friend? Not like she wants to date her. I don’t _think_ she wants to date Kira.”   
  
“Oh, what, don’t look at me like that. It sounded like that’s what you meant.” Lydia shrugged, “I could have told you she got along with Kira. It seems she likes just about everyone,” Minus her of course not that Lydia was the least broken up over it.   
  
“Except for you,” Stiles voiced, gazing at her intently.   
  
“Yes well, the feeling is mutual,” she replied catching his gaze, the intense look making her stomach flutter. “She’s abrasive and rude and she has absolutely no filter and she really just wants to leave me in the middle of nowhere so I can get eaten by some wild animal, which backs up my statement about her being rude.” She said in one full breath. “And…she just doesn’t seem like the right girl for you.” Lydia added.   
  
“She sees you as a threat.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. “That’s why she doesn’t like you.” He shrugged, trying to make it seem less weird than it probably felt to her.   
  
Lydia’s fingers stopped moving again. Why hadn’t she realized that? She was silent for a couple of minutes before finally speaking. “Am I?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.   
  
“Pretty sure you’ll never _not_ be a threat, Lydia,” he said, voice dropping along with his gaze.   
  
She shifted and reached up cupping his cheek trying to draw his attention to her so he’d look at her. “Stiles,” when his eyes were once again on her face she inhaled deeply and swallowed hard. “I don’t like that you’re with Malia,” she admitted.   
  
“I know.” He nodded slightly, holding his breath.   
  
Lydia tilted her head watching him closely, “Do you know why?” She asked softly.   
  
He was silent for a moment. A reason came to mind, but it was kind of ridiculous to think about. “You don’t trust her?” he guessed.   
  
She studied his face for a minute to see if that was a serious answer. “That’s true, I don’t.” she said dropping her hand from his face and then shifting until she was no longer resting against him but sitting up facing him. “But that isn’t why.” She was silent for a minute, “She doesn’t make you happy?” Lydia asked wanting to confirm what he’d already said just to make sure.   
  
Stiles cocked his head, looking at her curiously. “No.” But he wasn’t sure another person _could_ make you happy when you just weren’t happy to begin with. Wasn’t how that old saying went?   
  
Lydia swallowed hard. She had promised herself that she was going to let what she was feeling go because Stiles had obviously moved on and was happy with someone else. But if he wasn’t actually happy with Malia, then maybe there was still time to change things. She had wasted a lot of time and with everything that had happened over the past few months, Stiles almost dying and then Allison dying. Lydia was coming to realize that maybe they didn’t have all the time in the world after all.   
  
“Stiles, the reason it bothers me that you’re with her is because,” she hesitated nervousness filling her stomach. But the truth was if she couldn’t admit it, then she didn’t deserve him. “I-”   
  
“Hey can I come back in now?” Scott asked popping his head in from the doorway, his chest tightening. “Sorry I was waiting for you guys to finish talking, I didn’t want to be rude, but it’s lonely out here.” Scott said lightly. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew what Lydia had been about to tell him, but Stiles had told him earlier that he couldn’t go there again and the last thing he wanted was for either of them to get hurt.   
  
Stiles shifted his gaze from Lydia to the door where Scott was standing, looking kind of sheepish. He gave his best friend a knowing look. He’d been listening. He looked back at Lydia, wondering what she’d been about to say but he had a feeling he wasn’t going to be finding out tonight. He reached out and gave her arm a light, affectionate squeeze. “Yeah, come on in, buddy.”   
  
Scott glanced at Lydia and when he met her gaze she looked away. He held in a sigh and sent half a smile to Stiles as he walked back over to the bed. He watched as Lydia started to shift away from Stiles to give him back his spot and he reached out and rested a hand on her arm. “It’s fine, I can take this side.” He said motioning to the other side of her.   
  
Lydia nodded, but stayed silent as she laid back carefully, her head on one of the pillows this time, disappointment filling her chest.   
  
Scott got into the bed and moved around for a minute or two before getting comfortable.   
  
Stiles shifted so that he was lying down against the pillows this time too. He hesitantly moved closer to Lydia and draped an arm around her waist, glancing up to make sure that was okay.   
  
Lydia’s eyes found his and she sent him a weak smile. A few seconds later she angled her body closer to his, pressing herself hesitantly into his side, taking comfort in his warmth, which was better than nothing.   
  
Scott glanced over at them and his heart clenched at the sight. God he missed Allison, he knew they did too.   
  
Stiles rested his head against hers, shifting a little closer and reaching out to lay his hand on Scott’s arm, tugging him closer to them, too. “Come on. This is why we’re here.”   
  
Scott came willingly, nodding as he came closer to Lydia pausing to try and figure out the best way to situate himself.   
  
Lydia tilted her head, not pulling away from Stiles, as she reached behind her and gripped Scott’s arm gently pulling it over her midsection so he could reach Stiles too. “Better?” She asked.   
  
Scott let out a short breath as pressed a little closer to her back and then he patted Stiles arm. “It is,” he said quietly.   
  
“Good,” Stiles murmured, letting his eyes drift shut, surprised by how quickly he felt himself beginning to relax. “Huh.” He yawned.   
  
Lydia rested her head beneath Stiles’ chin and let out a soft sigh. She hadn’t felt this relaxed in the longest time. “Thanks for coming over,” she mumbled to them the sound muffled slightly by Stiles’ shirt.   
  
He pressed a kiss to her forehead without thinking about it. “Thanks for not kicking my ass out after I hung up on you.”   
  
Lydia’s hand curled into his shirt, “You’re not off the hook with that yet,” she told him and she felt Scott’s warm breath hit her neck as he chuckled behind her, “I’m just too tired to reprimand you at the moment.” She told him with a yawn.   
  
Stiles grinned involuntarily. “Night, guys.”   
  
Scott squeezed Stiles’ arm gently, “Night dude,” he said quietly, Lydia’s breathing already evening out. He let his eyes fall shut and felt his body finally relax as he drifted off to sleep.   


______

  
  
The first thing that registered in Lydia’s head as she started waking up was that her body felt unusually warm. She shifted and bumped into the body behind her, hands tightening around her midsection making it almost impossible for her to move. Lydia’s eyes fluttered open, blinking a few times before her eyes focused.   
  
She was wrapped in two sets of arms, her body sandwiched between Scott and Stiles. Her head was resting against Stiles, her arm pressed into his chest folded beneath her chin. She could feel Scott’s head buried against the back of her neck, his breathing steady.   
  
Their legs were all tangled together and she could see Scott’s arm stretched over her, his hand resting against Stiles’ arm. Lydia tried to shift and a pair of arms tightened around her again making her inhale deeply. She wasn’t sure if it was Stiles, Scott or both of them, but it seemed neither wanted her getting up.   
  
And honestly Lydia was okay with that, at least for the moment. She was warm, comfortable, and she actually felt rested. Lydia was pretty sure she hadn’t slept that well since that night at Eichen House when the Nogitsune had kidnapped her. She let out a soft sigh and shrugged her shoulder gently to fix the strap on her nightgown before resting her head against Stiles again.   
  
Lydia closed her eyes and tried to ignore the fact that today was Allison’s birthday. Her chest tightened and she buried her face against Stiles’ neck trying to make herself forget that her best friend was no longer alive.   
  
Stiles hadn’t slept well in awhile either. Less because of nightmares -- which he still tended to have on the few occasions he got more than a couple hours of sleep -- and more because Malia had this tendency to climb through his window and keep him awake until it was time to get up for school. She didn’t need the amount of sleep that he did. And now he just felt safe and protected and...comfortable.   
  
He yawned inaudibly as Lydia shifted in his arms, burrowing against him. Instinctively he tightened his arm around her and pressed his forehead against the top of her head. “You okay?” he whispered quietly so as to not wake up the sleeping werewolf on the other side of her.   
  
“No,” she replied honestly just as quietly even as she let herself relax into him, her arm shifting so her hand was resting near his heart, “But I’ve been worse.” At least she wasn’t waking up alone. If she was being honest, Lydia had spent more than one night wishing Stiles was there with her. And now that he was, things didn’t seem as hopeless as they usually did.   
  
He was glad that she answered truthfully. He would have known anyway. Of course she wasn’t okay. He reached up with his free hand and covered hers with it, weaving their fingers together. “Wanna talk about it?” he whispered.   
  
Lydia squeezed his hand gently, “I don’t know what to say.” She responded, “I miss her,” she whispered. “And every day I wake up hoping this is all some kind of bad dream, but it’s not. I’m still here and she’s not and I don’t know how to move forward.” Lydia glanced down keeping her eyes on their hands. “I feel so lost--I don’t know who I am or where I fit anymore, if I even do...and I hate it.”   
  
Stiles’ chest tightened at her admission. He wasn’t surprised by it, because of course that was how she felt. He honestly wasn’t even sure how she was functioning as well as she was. “You’re Lydia,” he said quietly. “And...if you ask me, you fit in pretty well right where you are.” Literally and figuratively.   
  
Lydia closed her eyes doing her best not to cry. She didn’t want to cry. She’d already cried so much. “I used to think so, but I’m not so sure anymore.” She murmured.   
  
“Stiles is right,” Scott mumbled drowsily, having woken up at the sound of them talking.   
  
“Of course I am.” He silently thanked Scott for the backup even if he felt guilty they woke him up.   
  
Lydia opened her eyes and finally tilted her head back enough to see Stiles’ face. “Or maybe you’re just biased,” she told them, but mostly Stiles quietly. “I’m useless. I can’t control my abilities, I can’t fight. I’m a liability.” She said simply.   
  
Scott lifted his head and glanced over Lydia at Stiles, frown on his face at her words. He didn’t think of her like that and he knew Allison never had. Allison had loved Lydia like a sister.   
  
Stiles stared at her, eyes intense. “The supernatural isn’t an exact science, Lydia. It doesn’t mean we won’t figure out your powers. We figured out Scott’s.” He glanced at his best friend and then back at Lydia. “And you can learn to fight. Derek, Chris. I’m pretty sure either of them would be more than happy to help you with that. You’re _not_ useless.”   
  
“I _feel_ useless.” She said, though Stiles’ words helped.   
  
“Well, you’re not.” Scott repeated. “I need you and Stiles does too.” He said glancing at his best friend. “I know the pack’s grown, but it started with us,” and Allison he added silently, “And I need you guys.” He gave Lydia a light squeeze with the arm that was still around her even as his hand squeezed Stiles’ arm. “I’m never not going to need both of you even if sometimes it doesn’t always seems like it.”   
  
“Hell yeah I do,” he agreed, meeting Scott’s eyes and then looking at Lydia again. “But you know what? Sometimes I feel useless too. Doesn’t mean it’s true. We’re a team. It’s how it works.”   
  
“You’re not useless,” Lydia said immediately, “But...I guess I get what you’re saying.” And she did. Lydia lifted her head slightly and glanced at the clock with a sigh, “We should probably start getting up for school.” She told them.   
  
Scott looked away from Stiles and rested his head back on the pillow, not really wanting to get up and face the day. “But...it’s so warm here.”   
  
He glanced at the clock, too. “Okay. Scott, you sleep more while Lydia gets ready. I’ll fix something for breakfast. Then we’ll eat and head to school. I’ll drive.” His words were firm, more take charge than they had been in a long time.   
  
Lydia nodded, “Works for me.” She said staying where she was for another minute wanting to enjoy the feel of Stiles’ arms around her. “Okay,” she shifted releasing Stiles and nudging Scott. “Come on world’s cuddliest alpha, move your overheated body so I can get up.”   
  
Stiles snorted at her nickname for Scott, reluctantly letting her go and rolling off the bed. He stretched his arms over his head. “Here. You can get out this way so we can let the sleeping werewolf lie.” He smirked. “See what I did there?”   
  
Lydia smiled, a real smile.   
  
“I hate you both.” Scott grumbled releasing Lydia and rolling over onto his stomach.   
  
“Lies. You love and adore us as much as we love and adore you.” Stiles grinned.   
  
Lydia sat up and moved off the bed coming to stand in front of Stiles. She was silent for a minute before shifting forward and hesitantly leaning into him. “Thank you for coming here last night,” she whispered, her hand reaching out and squeezing his briefly.   
  
When she leaned into him, he wrapped his arms around her in a hug. “Not a problem,” he told her quietly.   
  
She stayed in his arms for a minute before forcing herself to pull back. “I’m going to get ready...and if you wanted to make chocolate chip pancakes I’d probably eat some.” She told him.   
  
“Me too,” Scott mumbled from the bed.   
  
“I think I can handle that,” he told her, offering her a soft smile before glancing over at Scott.   
  
Lydia nodded and made her way out of her bedroom towards the bathroom. When Scott heard her footsteps fade he turned his head and glanced at Stiles. “This was a good idea. I think we all needed this.” He said offering his friend half a smile though it didn’t really reach his eyes. Scott might have slept well last night, but it was still Allison’s birthday and it was hard not having her there.   
  
“I’m _full_ of good ideas. Really, almost all of them are awesome.” Okay, not really. But if it got Scott to smile, he was fine with pretending. “Okay do you wanna lay there or do you wanna help with the pancakes?”   
  
Scott sighed, “Well since I’m all alone now I might as well help with the pancakes. No sense lying here by myself,” he commented as he got up and stretched. “Lead the way,” he said motioning to the door and trying to push the pain aside so he could try to enjoy this time with his friends.   


______

  
  
Lydia glanced at the kitchen island her brows drawn together as she tried to remember if she’d forgotten anything. She stood there clad in a black sundress and a lavender cardigan. Her heeled foot tapping gently against the floor as she pressed her lips together. Breakfast had been nice. She, Stiles and Scott ate and talked a bit catching up on what had been going on the past few weeks. But there was an undercurrent of sadness filling their interactions and Lydia knew that going to school was just going to make that worse. She sighed softly as the sound of Stiles’ voice came from down the hallway.   
  
“You ready Lyds? Scott’s already in the jeep.” He called out to her while rubbing the cold keys in his hand. Breakfast had been nice, but Scott and Lydia were already growing quieter…more distant and Stiles desperately didn’t want that to happen after last night. They’d finally gotten somewhere, they’d talked and he didn’t want them shutting him out again.   
  
He had a plan and hopefully neither of them would be angry with him for it. The sound of heels clicking against the floor of the hallway drew his attention from his thoughts. He spotted Lydia as she made her way towards him. Stiles swallowed hard, his gaze drifting over her body briefly of its own accord before meeting her gaze. He could see the pain in her eyes and his heart ached for her. He offered her half a smile, “All set?” He asked softly as he tugged open the door for her.   
  
Lydia nodded, “Yeah,” she said as she lifted her bag further onto her shoulder and made her way out the front door and down the steps towards the jeep parked in the front of her house.   
  
Stiles tugged the door shut behind him, not worried that Lydia hadn’t locked it. If something was going to break in, a lock wouldn’t keep it out anyway. He walked over to the driver’s side of the car and arched an eyebrow at Scott sitting in the back. Lydia was already situating herself in the passenger side seat when he opened the door and got in. He slipped the keys into the ignition and started the car before backing out of Lydia’s driveway and heading out onto the street towards the main road.   
  
Lydia sat with her purse resting on her lap, her gaze on the window watching the scenery pass them. It took Lydia a solid few minutes to realize they’d passed the school about two blocks ago and she frowned straightening up slightly as she glanced over at Stiles. “You passed the school.”   
  
Scott perked up in the back and looked out the window his brows drawing together when he realized Lydia was right. He glanced at Stiles as his friend spoke.   
  
“I did,” he told them taking a left turn at the stop sign they were just sitting at, “I’ve made an executive decision about school today.” He told them casually, “We’re not going.” His tone was matter-of-fact as he continued driving towards the center of town.   
  
Lydia glanced at Scott and he shrugged before clearing his throat and leaning forward so he was between the two front seats. “Where exactly are we going?” He asked.   
  
Stiles glanced in the review mirror briefly at his best friend, “Right now? To Mara’s Bakery in town,” he told him as he put his blinker on so he could make a right at the upcoming light.   
  
Lydia just grew more confused at his words, “But we just ate.”   
  
Stiles nodded, “I know.” The car was silent and he sighed softly before glancing between Lydia and Scott, returning his eyes to the road a couple of seconds later. “Can you both just…trust me here? I promise you’ll see where we’re going soon and until then, just…relax.” He said knowing that wasn’t going to be easy. Not for any of them.   
  
Scott hesitated, but then nodded patting Stiles shoulder before leaning back in his seat, “You know I trust you man, always.” He replied.   
  
Lydia shifted in her seat and nodded. “Okay.” She said as she rested her hands back on her purse. A couple of minutes later Stiles was parking in front of the bakery and telling them he’d be right back leaving Scott and Lydia in the car alone.   
  
It was silent for a few seconds before Scott leaned forward again reaching out and resting a hand on Lydia’s arm. “I’m sorry about last night.” He told her quietly. The guilt had been eating away at him since he’d interrupted them, but he hadn’t been sure how Stiles was going to take what Lydia was going to say and he didn’t want things to get worse between his friends just when they were finally starting to get better.   
  
Lydia glanced at Scott watching him for a minute. “Why’d you stop me?” She asked softly a hint of anxiety whirling in her chest. “Does he not…I mean,” she paused and let out a shaky breath, “Has he moved on?” She asked her voice barely a whisper. From what Stiles had told her last night it made her feel like she still had a chance, but if there was something Scott knew that she didn’t that was a different story.   
  
Scott shook his head, “No, Lydia, no.” He hesitated trying to choose his words carefully, “I don’t think Stiles will every really move on. He’s always loved you…you have to know that.” He told her giving her arm a gentle squeeze. “But I just, he’s in a difficult place right now. He’s still hurting so much and there’s so much he hasn’t dealt with about the Nogitsune and stuff,” his voice trailed off and he ran a hand through his hair, “I just didn’t think it was the right time. I’m not sure he’s in the right place for the two of you at the moment and I don’t want either of you getting hurt.” He admitted.   
  
Some of the anxiety left Lydia and her heart warmed. She shifted her arm and let her hand fall onto his. “I appreciate you looking out for us. Thanks, Scott.” She sent him a small smile right as the driver’s side door burst open startling her and Scott. She pulled back and Scott shifted into his seat and lifted a brow at his friend.   
  
“What’s in the bag dude?” He asked seeing the large white bag Stiles held in his hands.   
  
Stiles reached over and set it down by Lydia’s feet before starting the engine again, “You’ll see in a little bit.” He told him before putting the jeep in drive and pulling out onto the main street again. The rest of the ride was mostly silent as Stiles navigated his way to the Beacon Hills cemetery.   
  
He could feel the tension in the car as he parked beneath a tree so the jeep wouldn’t get too hot in the early morning sun. He shut the car off and pocketed the keys before turning so he could see both Lydia and Scott. He swallowed hard at the pained expressions on their faces. “I know coming here is hard. If I’m right, and I think I am, it’s probably safe to say neither of you have been here since the funeral.” He said eyeing both of them, the guilty look on Scott’s face confirming his theory.   
  
“I thought maybe today, the three of us could celebrate Allison’s birthday with her. I know it’s not the same,” he told them his chest tightening, “And I know seeing her grave, being here makes it all the more real. But guys…this is real and as much as I hate it as much as I can’t apologize enough…Allison, she’s gone.” He whispered, eyes burning. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t still carry her with us. It doesn’t mean we can’t come here and visit her, talk to her and let her know how much we all still love her.”   
  
Lydia could feel the moisture pooling in her eyes at Stiles’ words. She reached out to him, her hand settling on his thigh trying to offer him some comfort. “You’re right,” she replied quietly breaking the silence in the jeep. “I’m terrified every day that one morning I’ll wake up and I’ll lose her that I’ll start forgetting her and our friendship and everything. I never want that to happen. Wherever she is I always want her to know we love her and miss her and things just aren’t the same without her.” She said in a rush of words, a tear slipping down her face.   
  
Stiles reached out resting his hand on her cheek and brushing the tear away. He knew he’d never forget. He’d never forget what he did, what he cost his friends, the pain he caused. He swallowed hard something inside of him shifting when Lydia leaned into the touch. He let his gaze drift to Scott who also had tears in his eyes. He tilted his head studying him closely trying to figure out what was going through his head.   
  
Scott inhaled deeply and finally nodded. “I don’t want to forget either. But I think what I’m really scared of is that I’ll never be able to move on. I’ll never be able to find someone I love as much as I loved Allison. That I’ll always wonder ‘what if’ and compare what my life will be with what it could have been because god…it would have been great.” He said, his voice taking on a miserable tone, even as a few tears slipping from his eyes.   
  
Lydia’s chest constricted at the look on Scott’s face. She reached out to him at almost the same time as Stiles did. She glanced at Stiles and he nodded. “Scott, Allison loved you so much,” she whispered, “And she’s the kind of person who would never want you to feel guilty for moving on. She’d want you to be happy. But you don’t need to forget her to be happy. You’ve got the biggest heart out of anyone I know,” expect maybe Stiles, she thought silently, “It’s okay to love someone else and still keep Allison in your heart.”   
  
She glanced down briefly and let out a breath. “I think Stiles is right, I think maybe we need this. We never really got to say goodbye, at least I didn’t and I still haven’t. And some days it hurts so bad I can’t breathe.” Lydia pressed her lips together tightly, pushing back the lump forming in her throat. “But I think this, us being together, us being honest with each other…it helps. I need you guys too. I really do. It’s been so hard all by myself and,” her voice broke and Stiles was pretty sure his heart broke with it.   
  
Scott shifting forward reaching out to Lydia and Stiles gripped her arm gently. They needed each other. This was his pack and everyone was hurting. They should be working together and healing together rather than apart. Stiles was right, not that Scott was surprised. They needed this. “You have us Lydia, always.” Scott told her softly. He took a deep breath and glanced at Stiles. “I’ll grab the blanket from the back…you’ve got the bag?”   
  
Stiles nodded, “I do,” he shifted his eyes to the strawberry blonde beside him, “Come on,” he said softly drawing back from her. He watched her nod and wipe her tears as she moved over and reached for the door. Everyone was moving at once and a couple of minutes later they were standing in front of the jeep, a bag in Stiles’ hand, his free one clasped in Lydia’s smaller one and Scott beside them, blanket clutched tightly in his palms.   
  
Stiles was the first to step forward and with him Lydia and Scott walked towards Allison’s grave. Stiles placed the bag down once they got there, something clamping down around his heart at the sight of the tombstone. He felt Lydia’s hand tighten on his and he leaned towards her and pressed a kiss to the side of her head.   
  
Scott hesitated for a second before unfolding the blanket and then spreading it out in front of the tombstone. He glanced at Lydia and Stiles before walking over and sitting down heavily on it. He glanced at the bag and spoke his voice rough with emotion, “What’s in the bag?” He repeated his earlier question.   
  
Stiles released Lydia’s hand so she could go sit by Scott as he lifted the bag again and then joined them on the blanket. He reached inside and pulled out a small chocolate cake, candles and a book of matches. “You always used to say chocolate was Allison’s favorite so I picked up a cake…I thought maybe-”   
  
The small sob that left Lydia’s throat cut off his words and Stiles gaze jerked over to her, placing a hesitant hand on her back. “I’m sorry I thought, I don’t know…I didn’t mean,” He swallowed heavily as Lydia shook her head.   
  
“This is perfect.” She said between her tears. Lydia glanced up at Stiles with tear stained eyes fighting the urge to tell the boy in front of her how very much she loved him. “You always know what to do, you just always make things better and I’m so grateful that I have you in my life. I’m sorry I’ve been so distance…I’ve forgotten how much better you make everything. These aren’t sad tears,” she explained, “I mean they are, but they’re also relieved and happy tears.” She admitted resting her hand on his leg. “Thank you, thank you for being you.”   
  
Relief filled Stiles face as he placed his hand over hers and reached out again to brush away her tears. “I’ll always be here.” He told her quietly holding her gaze for a minute before looking over at Scott. He gave his best friend half a smile, “Want to do the honors Scottie?”   
  
Scott watched them, his eyes wet as he nodded, “Yeah,” he reached for the candles as Stiles released Lydia and opened the cake. They placed them on the cake and Scott lit them with one of the matches before gently putting the cake in front of the tombstone so they were all facing it and Allison. His legs were out in front of him, knees bent slightly, his hands digging into the blanket on either side of his body. “Happy birthday Allison…we love you and I promise you no matter where we are, who we’re with or what life throws at us, on this day we’ll always be with you.”   
  
“A new tradition,” Lydia added. “I feel like you took a piece of my heart with you when you left…but I want you to know, no matter what, you’ll always be my best friend.” She whispered close to tears, “You were the first person to show me what a true friend was and I’ll never forget it.” She leaned into Stiles for support and he was right there with her, holding her.   
  
Stiles’ throat constricted as he stared at the tombstone, the flame from the candles flickered out of the corner of his eyes. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t strong enough to stop him. I know that no one blames me and that if you were here you wouldn’t either. But I blame me. I’ve always been a fuck up, but this…this was worse than anything.” Stiles felt Scott squeezing his shoulder and Lydia pressing her face near his neck, holding him tighter.   
  
“I promise you I will take care of them, the way you should be able to do. I’m sorry you can’t, but I’ll make sure they’re happy and loved. You can count on me.” He choked out.   
  
Scott closed his eyes letting a stray tear fall as he shifted closer to Lydia and Stiles. Lydia rested a hand on Scott’s leg as Stiles patted his friend on the back. The three of them sat there quietly for several minutes, watching the way the flames flickered in the shade of the sunlight. None of them noticing the adults in the distance watching from behind.   
  
Melissa rested her hand on Michael’s arm tears filling her eyes. She’d been scared when she’d gotten the call from the school saying Scott wasn’t there and then not even five minutes later Michael had called saying he got the same call about Stiles. He had picked her up from the hospital, she had just finished her shift, and they had spent close to a half hour calling cell phones and searching the town for their missing children until finally they approached Derek Hale and asked for his help.   
  
Derek had caught their scents and lead Melissa and Michael to the cemetery. It was only then that Melissa and Michael realized what day it was. She felt a strong arm wrap around her shoulders tugging her close and she couldn’t help the tear that slipped from her eye. “Do you think they’ll ever heal from this? That they’ll ever be able to move past what happened the past six months?” She asked quietly.   
  
Michael swallowed hard at the question, the sight of their kids and Lydia at Allison’s grave with a cake choking him up more than he cared to admit. “I think maybe, this is the first step. I haven’t seen the three of them together much since Allison’s funeral. They’ve been distant and I think in order for them to heal, they need to do it together.” He admitted rubbing Melissa’s arm lightly.   
  
Melissa nodded, “It’s not fair. It’s not fair that they have to deal with this at their age. When does it stop? When do they get to be kids?” She asked shaking her head, her heart aching for all three of them.   
  
“Unfortunately I don’t think it ever ends,” he replied, “But I think as long as they have each other and us,” added pointedly, “They’ll be okay. We’ll protect them when we can, but for now…we should let them have this.” He said glanced at Melissa. “I’ll call the school and tell them the kids are fine, and taking the day off. Maybe…maybe if you wanted you and Scott can come back to our place tonight and we can all have dinner, together.”   
  
Melissa met Michael’s gaze and she nodded. “I think the boys would like that. Lydia too. I don’t like how she’s always alone.”   
  
Michael nodded, “I’ve been worried about her these past few weeks. She hasn’t really been around what with Stiles and Malia at the house all the time.” He explained, “But I think things will be okay now.” He shifted, “Come on; let’s get back they’ll come home when they’re ready.”   
  
Melissa nodded letting Michael lead her back towards his police cruiser. She glanced at the kids one more time before getting in the truck. She knew they were hurting, but hopefully together they’d be able to heal.   
  
The sound of gravel being kicked back from a car made Stiles glance over his shoulder and he could have sworn he saw the taillights of his father’s truck. He shook his head and glanced back at Allison’s grave where Scott had just shifted closer. He watched as his best friend started talking to her in a hushed voice before turning to his side and looking at the strawberry blonde that was leaning against him, head on his shoulder. “I’ve been meaning to ask, what did you want to tell me last night before Scott came into the room?”   
  
Lydia opened her mouth and hesitated, remembering Scott’s words. She studied Stiles’ face for a long moment before speaking. “Talk to Malia.” When she saw he confusion on his face she continued, “Talk to Malia, end things with her if that’s what you plan on doing,” she told him not wanting him to think that’s what she was telling him to do, “And once you have we’ll talk and I’ll tell you everything. Okay?” She asked softly.   
  
Stiles stared down at her, his heartbeat picking up speed. He nodded. “Okay.” He said quietly before cupping her cheek and tilting his head down enough to press his lips against her forehead. When he pulled back he let one hand fall to the grass beside him as the other tightened around her waist.   
  
Lydia was resting with her knees beneath her leaning into Stiles, her eyes on Scott and Allison’s grave. She felt a light breeze waft around them, the air blowing her hair over her shoulder slightly as a familiar scent drifted to her nose.   
  
Scott’s head jerked up and tears sprung to his eyes. He glanced at Lydia and saw the same look mirrored in hers.   
  
Lydia’s chest tightened and she closed her eyes an odd feeling consuming her. It was warm and full of love and a watery smile pulled at her lips, genuine and bright. “She loves us so much,” Lydia whispered, the hole in her heart filling slightly at the feel of an all too familiar presence beyond the death surrounding her.   
  
Scott closed his eyes and reached out resting a hand against her tombstone as Stiles eyes grew glassy not sure what was happening, but believing Lydia’s words instantly.   
  
“Always,” Scott whispered a piece of him warming at the smell of Lydia’s emotions, what she was feeling.   
  
Stiles watched his best friend and the girl he loved and a part of him wished he could sense whatever they were sensing, but really it didn’t matter because right in this moment the peaceful expression on both of their faces was everything he needed and more. They were going to be okay…all of them were. He’d make sure of it.


End file.
